


I dare you to bear my children

by Ranshiinsitha



Series: Not what it looks like! [2]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:38:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ranshiinsitha/pseuds/Ranshiinsitha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miroku's lecherous behaviour will backfire for sure, Sango is amazing at taking revenge, Sesshomaru is happy to obligue.</p><p>PARODY.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I dare you to bear my children

It was one of those rare occasions when Sesshomaru and Rin showed up in Kaede’s village, the girl was in need of new clothes and she asked her Lord to hang out with the group of friend his brother travelled with before Naraku was defeated. The Lord of the West reluctantly accepted with a hint of disgust on his face.

-As you wish.

-Thanks Lord Sesshomaru!

Rin jumped into his arms, he rolled his eyes though he secretly enjoyed her affections, but he wasn’t going to go all corny in front of Jaken wasn’t he?

They arrived to the village early in the morning the next day; Rin quickly left Sesshomaru’s side happily running down the vivid green hill down to meet with the group.

-Jaken, let’s get this done.

-Of course My Lord!

The Dog Lord turned around with Jaken following him and headed towards the closest market to buy a decent attire for his Rin.

Meanwhile in the village Rin stormed into the hut where the group could be heard chattering and laughing inside. They instantly stopped talking surprised by the abrupt interruption; but smiled after they saw who it was, especially Kagome, she called Rin with her open arms and the girl Ran to greet her. Inuyasha as always looked pissed and didn’t even say hello to Rin when she finally was done greeting the rest of the group.

-Are you always pissed off?

Rin asked Inuyasha while chuckling.

-No-He replied with a scowl-But you know, I don’t like being abruptly interrupted by my brother’s bitch while I’m minding my own business.

-Your brother’s what?

Rin asked tilting her head, raising a single eyebrow and quirking the left side of her mouth up, clearly not knowing the meaning behind what Inuyasha said.

-INUYASHA SIT!

The hanyou’s face saluted the floor with a thud.

Rin questioningly looked at Kagome, the miko quickly turned her annoyed expression into a inviting one asking Rin to go out with her without needing to say a word, Rin was used to this language, she immediately understood and followed the older woman outside the hut sitting under the nearest tree where the chat started.

-I can’t believe Sesshomaru’s half brother is so bitter! How’s that you came to like him…?

-Hehe-Kagome scratched her ear with a funny smile on her face and her eyes shut for a second-With Inuyasha, there’s more than meets the eye.

-He’s alike Lord Sesshomaru if that statement is true…

-Ummm…maybe, they’re half brothers after all? But Sesshomaru is…-The miko lowered her voice so no one would hear, and getting close to Rin’s right hear whispered-much sexier and regal.

Rin instantly broke down laughing and blushing, Kagome covered her mouth with her left hand and giggled closing her eyes for some seconds.

-Do you like My Lord?

The girl asked from the sudden, with a hint of curiosity in her voice, Kagome jumped at the unexpected question.

-Oh no! Of course not, I cannot deny he’s handsome but, I don’t like him as a mate. But…do you?

A faint blush appeared in Rin’s face and she turned away opening her mouth to say something as Kagome glanced over her with a predatory expression on her face; the little girl was saved from further embarrassment when Sesshomaru’s half brother made his appearance with his usual lack of tact.

-Kagome, what are you even doing out there? We’re going to play a game and the rest of the guys want you to join, of course I don’t care if you play or not but they are…-

-SIT!

Both girls walked inside the hut while a poor half demon kissed the floor.

-Oh, girls, welcome.

The monk greeted them with a warm smile as he continued talking.

-We’re about to play a deal game, and we wanted to make sure that everybody was in before we started, would you girl like to join us in the fun?

Rin thought for a second: Sesshomaru could be here at any second and they’d have to leave, but she wanted to play so bad! Yes, she wanted to play, so she was going to play.

-Of course!

Rin jumped with the exclamation, Kagome just laughed at her enthusiasm and nodded before taking a seat in the circle of people.

Inuyasha then walked in, shaking his clothes before anyone noticed he was missing, with a grumpy expression he sat far away from Kagome, between Sango and Shippo.

Miroku then explained the rules: He was going to dare any member of the crew to do something, if that person refused or couldn’t do what was requested then they shall endure a punishment, consisting on something very embarrassing. If the person was able to pass the deal without problems then that person would be able to dare somebody else and so on.

Kagome chuckled thinking how much this game reminded her of “truth or dare” but this one had a special twist.

-Well, I’ll start-Miroku stated raising a finger- I dare Shippo to stand on his hands for 5 seconds!

The fox demon instantly stood up laughing at the challenge.

_-Uh… I hope I’ll be able to do it, I gotta show everybody how capable I am!_

After lying about his self confidence and skills Shippo quickly stood in all fours and bucked hard enough to lift his back part and stand perpendicular to the floor. He was almost going to make it – _Yes yes, 2…3…-_ He fell flat on his chin after Inuyasha evilly pushed him with his finger.

-Why did you do that Inuyasha!? I almost made it!!!

The petite Demon scowled shaking his fisted hand at the hanyou who looked dismissively above his shoulder.

-Because this is getting boring, besides you are not able to stand on your hands for 5 seconds, weakling.

-I’m not a weakling! I’m going to show you!!

Not even a second passed after that exclamation and Shippo had a bump on his head, Inuyasha hit the floor for the third time that day right after.

-Well-Said the Monk rubbing the back of his head- I guess Shippo technically gets the second turn, since Inuyasha cheated.

Everybody glanced over the hanyou with eyes like daggers.

-I dare Inuyasha-Shippo said with a devilish taint on his eyes-to hug Kagome, in front of everybody!

-WHAT!? YOU! YOU!

Inuyasha raised his arm, fisted hand, Kagome stared at him ready to say the magical word again; the half demon grinded his teeth and growled at Shippo, it took everything on himself to stand up and walk up to Kagome, knelt down besides her and gave her a quick hug.

-Nu huh! It must last _5 seconds._

Shippo laughed after saying the last part covering his mouth with a hand.

Inuyasha wanted to choke him to death but he wasn’t going to lose to him, so he surrounded Kagome with his arms and embraced her, counting the seconds until he reached 5, stood up and walked to his place again, threatening the triumphant fox demon with another hit on the head.

-Well, it’s my turn now!

Inuyasha said with winds of superiority, fists on his hips, lifting his chin and bringing his chest out. 

-Mhhh…-he glanced around looking for somebody to dare, his eyes landed over the monk that started the game-Miroku, I dare you to hug Sango, without touching her ass.

The demon slayer jumped in surprise, the Monk blushed. Rin tilted her head and laughed _how hard could it be to hug someone without touching their ass?!_

-I’m…i…I’m not… sure I’ll be able to make it…I MEAN I MEAN, Of course!

Miroku instantly took back his first statement after Sango turned her head violently to him, looking considerably pissed.

He called the woman with his hand, and she knelt in front of him so he could hug her, everything was going alright, until his hand moved to the demon slayer’s butt and rubbed it. A hit in the face landed him onto his back as the pissed woman returned to her place, with her arms crossed on her chest.

-This never changes.

She grunted.

-Ouch…oh…well…It’s your turn Sa-

The door opened and the breeze brought everyone’s attention to the regal demon standing inside, already ready to leave. Sesshomaru had a wrapped kimono under his arm, he signed Rin to stand up with a single movement of his head, but the little girl refused.

-No! wait! Rin still wants to play! Rin hasn’t had her turn yet!

-Rin.

-No no no no!!! Wait, Lord Sesshomaru, please, wait! You can join us, this is so much fun!

-No.

-Yes.

-No.

-Yes!

-Rin.

-Sesshomaru-Sama.

She pouted, crossing her arms on her chest, frowning and filling her cheeks with hair, she held her breath and stared at Sesshomaru defiantly, he was however, totally unimpressed.

-Rin, don’t make me go after you.

She didn’t reply and kept her position, still holding her breath, how much could she hold it? Not much longer Sesshomaru assumed.

Everybody was amused, holding their laughter instead of their breath, but a giggle escaped Kagome, Sesshomaru instantly turned to look at her, she bursted laughing when she saw him.

-That is so cute Sesshomaru! Join us for a while!

Rin's face brightened, somebody was supporting her cause!

-I said, no, at least, 3 times already, my patience is starting to lack.

-Pff, your patience is always lacking!

His half brother said spitting air and swinging his hand behind his head and above his shoulder; Sesshomaru turned to stare at him, almost angry, but the sound of Rin violently gasping for air made him turn his attention to her for the second time, she was almost blue breathing heavily and very fast, lying on her back.

-No…

She panted on an act of stubbornness.

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes.

-Ok, I will stay but I will not join this nonsense, I play no games. Once you get your turn we are leaving, and don’t talk back to me.

Rin sat up on a quick motion and nodded violently.

It was Sango’s turn however, now Sesshomaru appeared on scene she was thinking about having a revenge on Miroku; the taiyoukai wasn’t necessarily playing but he could serve the purpose to embarrass Miroku to the bone anyways. The demon slayer thought on giving the dare to Rin since she had to leave, but the visions of her revenge filled her head and she just couldn’t resist, this was going to be way awkward and funnier with Miroku involved than with Rin.

-Miroku.-Sango spoke abruptly resuming the game-I dare you… to kiss Inuyasha on the lips.

-WHAT!?

Both of them yelled at the same time, Sango looked at him mischievously, she knew there was no way they’d do that, and she had a B plan, effectively they energetically refused, shaking their hands in the hair and making a complete scandal that was hurting Sesshomaru’s ears, Kagome was laughing uncontrollably.

-Well then…then your punishment will be-Sango crawled placing her lips on his ears covering with her hand- _ask Sesshomaru to bear your children._

-Miroku turned pale, his eyes went wide and his face was unreadable, the rest of the crew stopped the noise, what could have Sango said to evoke such a reaction? Of course they wanted to know! They all leaned closer to him like expecting a confession or something of the sort, but Miroku ceremoniously stood up, walking past everybody directly to Sesshomaru, who stood there, observing him.

- _What the fuck._

Inuyasha said curling the side of his mouth watching the monk invading the personal perimeter of his dangerous brother who simply glanced over him like nothing happened. Miroku grabbed Sesshomaru’s hand with both of his, if that didn’t get him killed already then no one knew what to expect. The monk cleared his throat, still holding Sesshomaru’s hand, and calmly said.

-Sesshomaru, would you like to bear my children?

Everybody’s jaws dropped, Rin was specially shocked and amused at the same time, but they definitely didn’t expect what happened next.

-No. But will bear mine.

The Dog Lord said and fast as lighting butterfly gripped Miroku’s left wrist.

There was silence for some seconds and the Monk realized he couldn’t possible escape from that grip.

-Let’s go.

Sesshomaru started walking dragging Miroku with him, he was desperately trying to free his arm from Sesshomaru’s hand but it was useless.

-SESSHOMARU! THIS IS A GAME!

Miroku screamed in panic.

-Lord Sesshomaru!-Rin pulled Miroku’s robes in an attempt to free him-Let him go! He was playing.

-As I stated earlier, this Sesshomaru does not play games.

He left the hut, dragging the fighting monk with him, under the shocked stares of everybody and a really confused Rin.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the reading, i had the story in the back of my head for some time now and i finally wrote it down.  
> It's a parody, not meant to be taken seriously XD
> 
> What happens after Sesshomaru drags Miroku out? Well, that's entirely up to you =P


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